Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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