So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
