very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
