I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
