4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
