I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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