hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
