I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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