He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
