using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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