i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
