i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so let's talk penis.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
