I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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