his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
