Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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