3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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