The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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