it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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