why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
