So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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