Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize