I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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