Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
