I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
