I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the condom got lost in my hair
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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