he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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