They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize