just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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