I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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