Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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