He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
