i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
