I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize