That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
