And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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