erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
