I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
