i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So much rum. So many feels.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
