I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't think brook has ever known best
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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