did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
