then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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