Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
