Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
