I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
