Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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