it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
