I cut my penus on the lid.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
