she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize