I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize