weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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