I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize