Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
