oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
