I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
