I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
