no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
