that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
