youre lurking in front of me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
