then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
3pm strippers are depressing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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