I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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