And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize