You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
