watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
