thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
