She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
