Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
