omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
