he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
