Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
