i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
