Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
