someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
