We named our party play list daddy issues
he was CRYING into my vagina
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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