I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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