I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
