we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
