I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He felt like a one man threesome
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
